Checking In

It's back to work and the daily grind of juggling life, work, family and all the other stuff. Overall I'm feeling pretty good. I have aches and pains, but most likely because I'm getting old. My left side is still very tight and sore, I think I'll make an appointment to see the plastic surgeon. He can take a look, reassure me of the scar tissue areas and maybe we can schedule the fat fill. I'm going on a real diet tomorrow, so we should get this fat while it's abundant. How's that for positivity.

I have some tough days. I'm scared that something bad is lurking around the corner. I wish I could just "get over it", but having HAD cancer isn't that easy to just get over. This is a very lonely phase, the moving on part with the fear. Nobody wants to listen to what I fear, so I keep it to myself. Nobody wants to hear the tough stuff, so it's just easier to say all is fine. I don't think it can be understood unless the same shoes have been walked in. I get up each day as happy as a clam to be here. Happy to spend time with my kids and enjoy another day. It's not unrealistic to fear losing that. If it is, then maybe I'm just mental. Cuckoo. 

I'm blessed with each day, but it doesn't mean I don't want about 14,000 more!!!