Fish On!

Dane and I made it through a soggy night of camping. We went to town, Bourbonnais, for gas and coffee-yeah that have a Starbucks! We couldn't make coffee or breakfast because it  poured last night for three hours and all if our wood was soggy. We only brought food to make over a fire. Tonight we ate peanut butter and jelly.

Tonight were in a cute, bare bones cabin. A terrible storm was predicted and we didn't want to be caught in a tent. We were lucky enough that the other campground had one of two, cabins available.  So we moved. It's dry, we have 6 beds, a table for two, electricity and ceiling fan. Were so happy we did. We've been playing cards and pass the pigs all night. 

Small world weirdness. We were getting coffee this morning and a college aged girl came up to us and asked if we were part of Camp Kesem last year. Dane then recognized her as one of the counselors. How odd! Were so far away from Augustana where it was out of, but Bourbonnais is her hometown. She asked if he was coming back and he said maybe, although  we both knew he wasn't. It worked for him last year, but he just doesn't want to go back. I think last year was hard on us all, and it was supportive, although sad in some cases. This year he sees me back to normal, or close to it!

Today we fished for four hours-I caught three fish, one a good sized small mouth bass. Dane didn't catch any, he changed many lures. I only used worms. It was fun and standing in the Rock Creek was very refreshing.

Time for bed in our dry cabin! What does tomorrow's adventure bring?

Camping Part 2

I am off on a mini adventure with Dane now. We are camping for two nights near the Kankakee River. We dropped Marley and her friend off at "try camp" down the road. It's a two night camp for those unsure if they can be away for longer. 

So, I got on my bike this afternoon. Close enough to July 1, for me! I didn't ride at all last year and that was weird. I also haven't swam in a long time-still haven't yet. But Dane and I took our bikes on a trail through the woods and by the river, it felt great doing something I enjoy-and that's physical!

We're about to make dinner, Dane foraged for sticks to cook hot dogs and sausages. It's cooling down and I'll be back in the tent again. Yeah summer!

Chateau Marvin 

I Love This Summer!

I am still feeling great, having fun with family and friends and making up for last summer!  

Almost Done

Today was my second to last herceptin treatment! One to go! I'm planning on bringing a box of coffee and treats for the nurses whom have become friends, on my last treatment day. I hope I never see those ladies again-while they're at work! Drinks and celebrations are a different story!

Dinner date with friends and a chill evening. All is good, all is good.

Home

Mars and I spent three nights up in Fish Creek, Wisconsin with cousins. I also got to spend some time with my aunt and uncle whom I haven't seen in quite a while. It was really great pitching a tent and getting cozy...we had to-temps were in the 50's at night! In fact it never passed 65 degrees the whole time!  

I felt and still feel great! Today I saw that I had an email that said-"new test results". I almost threw up. I had a hard time pulling it up, couldn't see the scanned document clearly. My cousin had to find on there the words: No Mutation Detected. 

I needed to be sure so I asked Brad to look it up, and he confirmed that my genetic testing came back negative. I'm not a carrier if the mutation! I don't need to have a hysterectomy or worry about my kids as much. I haven't personally pulled it up to confirm, but I believe them both! Hallelujah!!!!

Long ride home in both Milwaukee and Chicago's rush hour traffic-lucky us! We couldn't have headed earlier- we went fishing and couldn't leave until she caught one. Finally, (after my four!) she got her rock bass. 

A wonderful trip with my beautiful daughter. 

Love it!!! Summer and camping!

The Great Outdoors

On a girl'souting in Door County, me, Marley, my cousin Jenny and her daughters. Not sure if the doctor would approve of me sleeping on the ground, we'll see! It's nice to get away!

Summertime

I'm still doing well and feeling more like good old me. I am doing more than I should, but I've sat around for long enough!  Last night we went with some friends to see the Aurora 88's roller derby match. It was pretty interesting. It was at an old skate rink and it was hot, and beer less. Either way it looked like fun! I've always wanted to do it. Now, I'll never be able to do it. Kind of sad. The women weren't young either-I would have been just the right age, build and demeanor. Except I think I'd spend too much time in the penalty box. I guess I can only be a spectator. 

Stopped at a neighbor party-where we left our kids-and headed home. Another late night for the youngsters. 

So I did old school drive in, old school roller rink with derby-how should I round this off? Old school bowling! That's what we should do today!

Still Feeling Good

Nothing bad to report which is wonderful!!! I'm feeling pretty good and have more energy than I have in quite a while. Busy day today! Took Dane to breakfast, took Marley to quarry and then tonight was girl's night out, little and big, to the drive in movie! The last movie I saw at the drive in was Purple Rain, omg, is that 100 years ago! Tonight it was how to Train Your Dragon 2.

Going to hit the hay, don't want to jeopardize my feeling good week! Maybe all the green power smoothies are energizing me. Either way, I'll take it! 

Great Week So Far

I've been feeling really good lately and that makes for a happy me! I'm eating only good stuff, I'm not hungry and I'm doing more than I should be. 

I went to see the plastic surgeon and I asked what happened size wise.  He said he couldn't close me back up with anything larger on my radiated side. It was all he could do.  He said we will go back for one more procedure in a few months to fat fill some areas that need smoothing out. Earliest is August, I'll wait a bit. He said I can do whatever I want starting July 1st. No swimming until then either.

It is what it is and I'm healing well, that's the most important thing. I need to remember I'm healing, because when I feel good I tend to do too much. Enjoying the cooler day that the storm brought through. 

Good Day!!

Felt really good today. That's a bonus-2 days in a row. Yeah! Happy summer! I see the plastic surgeon tomorrow, that will be interesting.

Happy Father's Day!

Today started with breakfast for Brad and then some hanging out. Nothing major planned. Then we had a baseball game in the afternoon. Nice day for a game. I was literally three minutes late getting to the field when I see Dane landing on third base. He got a triple! That's awesome! They played great and won by slaughter.  

Came home and the yard was swarmed with kids! Then we had some porch time with neighbors and ended with pizza. Impromptu hangout on a beautiful summer night. 

Oh, and I felt really good today, all over. :)

Over Did It

Although the norco I took for sleep kept me up until 3:00 in the morning-I over did it. The pain was less and I felt more normal. First thing we did was pick up two fresh lobsters that we won six months ago-(I had a claw for breakfast), coffee, farmers market, home-errands, shopping, cleaning, secret ice cream making, dinner (more lobster).  I did things like normal me-but shouldn't be. Now I'm tired. 

I have a sore back and I still have a strange stomach issue. The doctor rules out anything in stomach and colon. I think it's acid reflux. I don't know. Was really hoping to feel awesome soon. Physically and mentally. Doing what I can-working with what I've got. Be Positive! Like my blood type.

Chilling outside with Brad and some port. The tasty kind. Beautiful night. Tomorrow will be even better-each day. 

Bit by Bit

A little better today, but still tired. Backed off the pain meds and took some Tylenol for a headache. Showered, mainly to run hot water on my sore back. Pretty low key day. A few friends dropped buy with goodies and I even went to Marley's game tonight. It was her last game and I wanted to be there for her.  Came home to some fresh grilled burgers and corn, mmmm. I love my friends! Going to bed sans Norco. I think I'm done with it. I think I've only taken three-so that's good.

Not working on coming to terms with outcome quite yet. Don't want to. Nothing will change so it really doesn't matter much. 

Crappy Day

Today was rough. It started out when I tried to get to the bathroom  and got the shakes and sweats.  I was dizzy and nauseated all day from that point.  I also hurt. I have new incision areas to be aware of.  Sitting up hurts. I spent the entire day on the porch couch. In and out of sleep. The kids checked in on me and brought me what I needed-but overall this day was a wash. I'm still on the couch, still have a headache and am still really tired. Trying to eat some macaroni-but not all that enthusiastic about it.  

Haven't looked yet, maybe tomorrow. I don't have enthusiasm for that either.  I'll probably take a Norco and go upstairs to bed.

Home

I've made it through yet another procedure! Yeah me.  The kids and Brad were with me today, I wanted them there.  Before I didn't, they were in school.  The surgery was about an hour and a half long-plus recovery time.  I got home about 4:45ish. It started a half hour later than expected also. I hate waiting, I get anxious.

I didn't see the doctor afterwards, but Brad did. He said it all went very well. My first question was-what size? I have 500 & 550- but they match according to him.  I almost cried right then. That's smaller than the expanders. Did I do all of this torturous stuff for nothing much? Damn. I guess he did what he could do, and that left side was so damaged I should be happy he got anything in.  But I'm not.

I haven't seen them besides peeking down in-I'm in a surgical bra with fluff. I have this sinking feeling I'm going to be very disappointed.  That also makes me feel like a bitch because it's all vanity crap. But this "journey" has been ugly. It's made me ugly.  I've gained 15lbs, ( and the tamoxifen causes some of that), have stupid hair and now a disproportionate body.  I was looking for a carrot here at the end. Oh well.  As I've been mulling over, the carrot is my life. I'm here and that's what counts more than a bra size. I completely know that, however I'm still a woman who wants to look nice and feel good about herself. Insert sneering face here.

I left the hospital pretty nauseated and came home and crashed. Got up about 7:00-super thirsty. Dane made me a baked potato for dinner and I'm back on the couch.  Pain? Yeah. Severe? No-but I have a high tolerance.  The incision sites hurt-so I took a Norco about 30 minutes ago. If there are any weird things in this post about rainbows or unicorns, blame it on the painkillers!

Thanks to all my friends who texted me throughout the day and last night! I love you all! Thanks for the thoughts and prayers!

Soon

It's 8:18. Still in bed because I don't want to get up and not eat or drink-these days are tough. I hurt extra this morning-I'm sure the nerves and anticipation are the cause. I leave here in two hours. Killing time will be tough-long shower!?!   Until later....

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

It's been a long haul and I feel that tomorrow is the end of the big hurdles. Tomorrow is the next and hopefully last phase in reconstruction. It's Tata Tuesday! So here I am on the eve of yet another milestone.  Another  surgery.  I don't know if I'm nervous or not, kind of nonchalant. The surgery should be a breeze for the doctor-and for me. However-I don't believe anything anyone says because I hate getting my hopes up too high. Like "radiation was a breeze"... A fiery scorching breeze from Hell that left me with third degree burns and damaged skin. Yeah. Haven't forgot that yet.

Today was full of errands including my herceptin treatment. I only have two more! I have one more mugga heart scan too. July I'm done! The kids came with me today for treatment. It was nice having them there. My last one, I'm throwing a party! It's a Friday and I think we will all go for drinks!

One other thing we did today was grab some caramel corn and visit my mom's grave. Each year I've done this with the kids. We buy the caramel corn and sprinkle it around her grave so the birds and squirrels can have a treat.  We also indulge in the goodness.  Makes me sad. I wish she was here. I know she's my guardian angel, but I really wish she was here.

Marley had a great softball game tonight- Brad grilled a yummy steak and now chillin' with my Marley.  She has the wiggliest tooth and I'm wrestling it out tonight!!

I'll post when I get home from hospital. I'm hoping to be home by 3:30. Fingers crossed all goes well and I feel pretty good!!

Cross toes too!

The Eve of the Eve

When you choose to spend Sunday being leisurely, having bloody Mary's with friends and enjoying a gorgeous day-you know life is good. I'm gearing up for Tuesday...not really. I don't know how to best prepare myself, so I'm pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. I'm ready to feel releif and get it done-but who wants to be cut open again?

There's nothing special I have to do. I have to stop eating at midnight the night before-okay. And I have to take an expensive anti nausea pill 1.5 hours ahead of surgery. He says this helps coming out and feeling good enough to go home.  Wear comfy, easy clothes-and show up. All of which I can do. 

I have my Tuesday night babysitter lined up for myself. If it rains, Brad will be home.  Shouldn't be alone otherwise-not for first 24 hours. I know the drill. 

Tomorrow is orthodontist, herceptin for me, and possibly a massage. Need to call and see if they can move me a bit, otherwise I'm out of luck...again!!!

End of the Year

School is out for summer!!! It was bittersweet, I had some really amazing students this year-like family. I had one boy and one girl in tears. They got me going too. These kids accepted me when I started school bald, they supported me in all my hair lengths and what nots.  Great kids!  I will miss them! I wanted to go out with colleagues, but I had all of Marley's softball gear in my car so I couldn't . Poop!

Came home ready to drop physically and mentally. But no-softball!! We took girls to the game and I went to Jewel to buy a smorgasbord of food. I'm so done with 9:00 p.m.  dinners.  I bought chicken, hummus, granola, cheese, crackers, etc. Another family brought the "lemonade". We had a mini Ravinia set up. Beautiful night! Another 2hr 45 minute game.  Came back and wrapping it all up-to do again in the morning! Boys play at 9, Mars at 9:30.  We're having a breakfast at the game-I'm making coffee.

I'm really excited for summer! I want it to be 100,000,000 times better than last year! I feel okay, not amazing-minor issues here and there-but nobody is concerned so why should I be?  Surgery is soon- Tata Tuesday is right around the corner...relief and more normalcy on its way!

Hitting the hay!

Pre-Op

I met with the plastic surgeon this afternoon to go over Tuesday's surgery. He went over the procedure, what I'm supposed to do to prepare and what I can and can't expect from the whole thing. He spent a lot of time with me explaining it all and I feel very comfortable in his hands. I believe and trust his judgement and expertise. He's done hundreds of these before. He made sure he wasn't minimizing my care, but wanted me to know he was comfortable doing this.

Over all he goes in and makes a cut underside of the expanders.  He pushes them out and then opens that area up like a clamshell.  Then he uses sizing implants to see which one "fits like a glove". He is ordering four different sizes to try.  We are hoping to be able to get at least the same as now or a little more. He is using silicone implants, the newest ones on the market.  Should be interesting.

Looking for relief mainly.

He went over all the things that could happen but most likely won't. The implant could go rogue and we would have to fix that!  I will have to get an MRI every three years to look for tears.  Okay, not a big deal.

As long as I am not too nauseated and am coherent after surgery, I'm to go home soon after.  2-3 weeks of laying low. I asked what that means in regards to working on my camper. He said I should pick put cushions and stain things-no sanding or anything more. Poop!

Oh well, I'll work my tail off this weekend. Then small things. It's coming to an end. Get me some boobs, drop some poundage...and figure out how to deal with my whacky curly hair helmet!!!!!!!!!