Today was a pretty normal day. I am feeling really good and I am even getting some sleep on my own. I am not feeling down or sad, I think I am in the best frame of mind I could be in right now. I am trying really hard to resume some normalcy in my life. I am heading into my last week of AC in my system... I should feel good all week and then Friday is a new frontier. I chose not to go to a family party today, because I am very selective with my social outings. I am okay if I know and feel comfortable with all people, but if I don't, then I just won't go. It may sound selfish, but it is one thing I can control. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want looks of pity or poor thing...not saying that anyone would have done that, it is just what I want to avoid. I guess it is my time to be a wallflower... this too will be temporary...
Later in the afternoon we went to my brother's house. My cousin Jenny and her girls were in town and we wanted to hang out. I knew exactly who was going to be there, and I had a great time and felt good. The best thing was that we really didn't talk about it. We picked on Jenny most of the time because she is a vegetarian and it is tradition to do so. Sorry Jenny. It was just another crazy afternoon with my goofy family. Everything was normal, except I didn't go swimming. My brother tried to convince me that it would be okay, we were all family...but it was just not going to happen. I am not swimming until next summer. That is pretty much how it is going to be. I need a new body and hair.... this is also something I can control.
Looking forward to bed...it is cold outside and it would be perfect weather for camping. I am hoping to be a proud owner of a vintage camper soon....I really hope it is all good and I can make this little dream a reality...If so, I know what I will be doing next weekend! Glamping with Marley! Whooo hooo!!! G'night.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Saturday Surprise
Had to get up early today to head south to get Dane from camp. I rode with Marcie and Debby so it was a quick and nice ride. The boys were happy to see us, but looked like they didn't want to leave. They had a great time and Dane is already planning on returning next year. I am so proud of his independence and happy that he enjoyed himself. All three boys fell asleep in the car...they woke them all up at 6;00 a.m. for a "polar plunge" splash contest. In other words, this is how they tried to make them appear clean before they went home...
When we got home I helped Dane carry his stuff up to his room, I didn't say a word. He walked to his room. Stopped. Didn't move for a minute, turned around and gave me a huge hug and told me how awesome it was and that he loved me. He had no idea I was doing it. He was very appreciative and couldn't believe I did all that work. I am so glad I got to surprise him! Yeah! :)
The rest of the day I worked around the house. I took breaks because I was tired. I was talking with Brad on how I heard as soon as chemo is done, you get a rush of energy back. I can't wait. I had quite a bit of energy before and to get it all back would be amazing. There are things I can do and want to do.. I am grateful that I can get some things done now, but I want to accomplish more... I think I am doing quite a bit while in treatment, I am lucky I get two good weeks. I continue to be nervous about next Friday and what I have in store. I need it to be minimal... I need my life back.
Marley and I watched a movie, and of course the mom was dead. Why do all kid movies have one parent dead? All Disney movies do for sure, but even the B movies. More and more it is the single dad with the daughter...it makes me uncomfortable. Why can't there be a movie that has two parents? Nemo..mom gets eaten, Bambi-shot...Little Mermaid-pirates, Dumbo-captured... Those are just a few from Disney, you can find more if you watch any kid movie.. Argh...
Anyway, going to bed soon. Just another Saturday around here. No news is good news.
When we got home I helped Dane carry his stuff up to his room, I didn't say a word. He walked to his room. Stopped. Didn't move for a minute, turned around and gave me a huge hug and told me how awesome it was and that he loved me. He had no idea I was doing it. He was very appreciative and couldn't believe I did all that work. I am so glad I got to surprise him! Yeah! :)
The rest of the day I worked around the house. I took breaks because I was tired. I was talking with Brad on how I heard as soon as chemo is done, you get a rush of energy back. I can't wait. I had quite a bit of energy before and to get it all back would be amazing. There are things I can do and want to do.. I am grateful that I can get some things done now, but I want to accomplish more... I think I am doing quite a bit while in treatment, I am lucky I get two good weeks. I continue to be nervous about next Friday and what I have in store. I need it to be minimal... I need my life back.
Marley and I watched a movie, and of course the mom was dead. Why do all kid movies have one parent dead? All Disney movies do for sure, but even the B movies. More and more it is the single dad with the daughter...it makes me uncomfortable. Why can't there be a movie that has two parents? Nemo..mom gets eaten, Bambi-shot...Little Mermaid-pirates, Dumbo-captured... Those are just a few from Disney, you can find more if you watch any kid movie.. Argh...
Anyway, going to bed soon. Just another Saturday around here. No news is good news.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Happy Friday
I slept oddly last night...strange dreams and woke up soaking wet with sweat... no clue what was going on there. Hmm..
Went to blood work this morning, tried to get Mars to go but she had no interest in seeing them access my port for blood. I tried...some kids may think that would be cool. I guess I won't have to worry about paying for medical school. My counts are all really good! My baby wbc went from 1.5 last week which was low, to 5.5 which is normal! I knew the Nuelasta shot was going to work. I think that should be the last of those, although I didn't ask... My hemoglobin, or red blood cells are in the 11's and still strong. I am overall in the average range for everything. Yeah body! Barb was my nurse today. She was the one who gave me the Target pass many weeks ago. She does not like being wrong so we talked about Taxol. She said that it is much easier, less nausea, fatigue and blood count fluctuation. She said that some people 30-40% get bone and joint pain. She also said that some people get a reaction during chemo, but they know how to fix that right away. I asked the million dollar question about my hair. She said that if I haven't lost my eyelashes or brows now, most likely I won't. She also said that hair growth depends, I may start some fuzz. I showed her my head of fuzz already and my hairy legs and told her I have been growing hair the whole time on AC. First she called me a "show off" and then said then I may have a chance on Taxol for hair. Then I told her I was going to grow hair, I am going to will my hair to grow... Either way, it was one of the better blood draws and no new yucky news at least.
I am getting some relief from the prescription ointment. I am not free and clear, but the major tears have stopped. I hope this continues to heal and I can put this issue to rest.
Mars went swimming with her cousins today and I busted out on Dane's room. I had Brad put up the new cool lighting, did the curtains, cleaned out all his bookshelves, made his bed, organized his shelves... We didn't hang the shelves because we want his opinion on where they should go. It looks great. He has no idea and is going to be so surprised! I am glad I pulled it off! See picture below.
Tomorrow morning I go get Dane. I am carpooling with two other moms to get the three smelly boys. Fun ride home I predict! I miss him but am sure he had fun and I can't wait for his reaction to his room. I am tired so I need to hit the hay really soon, especially because we leave at 7:45 a.m.... not a time I like to be ready by right now...
Happy Weekend to all!
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Went to blood work this morning, tried to get Mars to go but she had no interest in seeing them access my port for blood. I tried...some kids may think that would be cool. I guess I won't have to worry about paying for medical school. My counts are all really good! My baby wbc went from 1.5 last week which was low, to 5.5 which is normal! I knew the Nuelasta shot was going to work. I think that should be the last of those, although I didn't ask... My hemoglobin, or red blood cells are in the 11's and still strong. I am overall in the average range for everything. Yeah body! Barb was my nurse today. She was the one who gave me the Target pass many weeks ago. She does not like being wrong so we talked about Taxol. She said that it is much easier, less nausea, fatigue and blood count fluctuation. She said that some people 30-40% get bone and joint pain. She also said that some people get a reaction during chemo, but they know how to fix that right away. I asked the million dollar question about my hair. She said that if I haven't lost my eyelashes or brows now, most likely I won't. She also said that hair growth depends, I may start some fuzz. I showed her my head of fuzz already and my hairy legs and told her I have been growing hair the whole time on AC. First she called me a "show off" and then said then I may have a chance on Taxol for hair. Then I told her I was going to grow hair, I am going to will my hair to grow... Either way, it was one of the better blood draws and no new yucky news at least.
I am getting some relief from the prescription ointment. I am not free and clear, but the major tears have stopped. I hope this continues to heal and I can put this issue to rest.
Mars went swimming with her cousins today and I busted out on Dane's room. I had Brad put up the new cool lighting, did the curtains, cleaned out all his bookshelves, made his bed, organized his shelves... We didn't hang the shelves because we want his opinion on where they should go. It looks great. He has no idea and is going to be so surprised! I am glad I pulled it off! See picture below.
Tomorrow morning I go get Dane. I am carpooling with two other moms to get the three smelly boys. Fun ride home I predict! I miss him but am sure he had fun and I can't wait for his reaction to his room. I am tired so I need to hit the hay really soon, especially because we leave at 7:45 a.m.... not a time I like to be ready by right now...
Happy Weekend to all!
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Thursday, June 27, 2013
Too Much=Too Tired :)
Yeah, I was a bit tired today, but that's okay. It was worth staying up and having fun. I felt bad for Mars today because all of her friends were busy, and all she wanted was a friend to go swimming with at the quarry. Instead we started the day with a walk to the park. It was just too hot. I am a huge wimp this summer and can't deal with the sun and the heat. That didn't last long and we came home. She had a short play time with friends in the 'hood, and I second coated Dane's room. Brad was out all morning and I was tempted to catch up on the computer, but wanted to do his room instead... Then I got tired. Really tired. I rested a while on the couch. Couldn't sleep but just couldn't do much more. I listened to my body, and it said "sit".
Mars came home around 3:45 and wanted to go to the quarry. Oh, man... Of course I said yes, she was having a bummer of a day and this was on her list of things to do. We went for two hours and she got to cool off. I sat with friends and chatted, so it was fine time for me too.
After dinner we walked downtown to get gelato, which was also on her to do list. I did a lot of walking today, good and bad. Good because I need to move, and bad because I am wiped out... but maybe that will induce sleep. Let's hope.
I was planning on taking Mars camping tomorrow night near Dane's camp, because pick up is early Saturday and it would be a nice night for us. Now she decided she doesn't want to miss her last softball game on Sat. morning, and we should camp another night. I am a bit sad, I was looking forward to it. Maybe another night. I have a line on a vintage camper!! I am hoping it works out. It is a little more than I wanted to pay, but according to the owner, it just needs décor and customizing. If I don't have to put any other money into it, then it will be worth it. I am going to see it soon. I know we would have so much fun with it. I would be working on it this summer and taking it out whenever someone wanted to go...it sleeps 4, so the whole family could do a night or two.... Fingers crossed for that too.... bloodwork is tomorrow, better be good because I am acting like it is....yikes...
Mars came home around 3:45 and wanted to go to the quarry. Oh, man... Of course I said yes, she was having a bummer of a day and this was on her list of things to do. We went for two hours and she got to cool off. I sat with friends and chatted, so it was fine time for me too.
After dinner we walked downtown to get gelato, which was also on her to do list. I did a lot of walking today, good and bad. Good because I need to move, and bad because I am wiped out... but maybe that will induce sleep. Let's hope.
I was planning on taking Mars camping tomorrow night near Dane's camp, because pick up is early Saturday and it would be a nice night for us. Now she decided she doesn't want to miss her last softball game on Sat. morning, and we should camp another night. I am a bit sad, I was looking forward to it. Maybe another night. I have a line on a vintage camper!! I am hoping it works out. It is a little more than I wanted to pay, but according to the owner, it just needs décor and customizing. If I don't have to put any other money into it, then it will be worth it. I am going to see it soon. I know we would have so much fun with it. I would be working on it this summer and taking it out whenever someone wanted to go...it sleeps 4, so the whole family could do a night or two.... Fingers crossed for that too.... bloodwork is tomorrow, better be good because I am acting like it is....yikes...
A First...
I missed blogging last night due to too much partying! Whoo-hooo... when was the last time I said that.. never... Partying is a little bit strong of a word, but it sounds cooler... Anyway I hosted wine night at my house and celebrated my half way done point in chemo. It was a beautiful evening and just great to socialize on my terms. I love parties and gatherings, but this way I know everyone and felt comfortable. It was like old times. I did put a splash of red wine in my lemonade, winemenade we named it. Not bad. Not bad. Good to be around people I am comfortable with and care about me, my healing and making me be as normal as possible... (although I have never been "normal") Terrible sentence, but you get the point.
Didn't sleep the best but continue to do it on my own. It is going to be a hot one today and I have a lot to do. I know that Marley is going to want to do the quarry, and as much as I loathe the idea of going, I may have to take her because of the weather and she loves to swim. I need to paint Dane's room again and start planning what it will look like.
There are about 10 other things on my list too... I am so glad I am feeling good enough to get some of this stuff done.
Good news, my friend Debby has a pal who had all the treatments I did and said Taxol was a "breeze", but she didn't grow her hair. Somewhat good news! Be back later. Enjoy your day!!
Didn't sleep the best but continue to do it on my own. It is going to be a hot one today and I have a lot to do. I know that Marley is going to want to do the quarry, and as much as I loathe the idea of going, I may have to take her because of the weather and she loves to swim. I need to paint Dane's room again and start planning what it will look like.
There are about 10 other things on my list too... I am so glad I am feeling good enough to get some of this stuff done.
Good news, my friend Debby has a pal who had all the treatments I did and said Taxol was a "breeze", but she didn't grow her hair. Somewhat good news! Be back later. Enjoy your day!!
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Work Day
A good, strong, productive day...yes I feel good! I still have my one issue, but I think there may be a slight improvement. The Colace, Miralax and coffee diet also seems to be helping. One would think I could drop a few pounds this way... but no. That's okay, I would rather have a few extra pounds on me through this than get skinny, wither away and looks sick. Then for sure I would look like a chemo patient or a crack head...either one I don't like...
Had coffee with Marley and Theresa this morning, I really do enjoy my coffee dates! I have one tomorrow too. Yeah! Then we came home and I got productive. While I feel good and strong, I am going to do as much as I can to make up for the lazy days. I taped and primed Dane's room. I had to go to HDepot for more primer, and I wanted paint too. However, there was one poor sap working the paint counter and too many people for me to wait. I couldn't paint today anyway. I filled holes and prepped it for, hopefully, tomorrow. If I can pull that off, the rest is rearranging and some decorating...shelves, frames, etc... I might be able to get the majority of it done for him as a surprise. It will depend on how I feel, my ambition level and if the princess stays entertained with her pals. I am pretty sure she wants a swim afternoon at my brother's house, I promised her we would go....
This evening's game was cancelled, which left more time for Brad to work-he's been super busy. Marley and I enjoyed some time in the craft room. I made her a 12x12 mixed media picture of an owl and a fish with the colors of her room, including the sample paint chips. It is in a big, white frame. We both like it. Then I worked on a display box of some of my grandmother's fabulous rhinestone jewelry. I have one in my bedroom that I made and absolutely love, one of my favorite things. I thought I would make her one with some other beautiful pieces that I have from her. She appreciates it.
I felt normal and productive. I didn't sit around, I kept busy. I am not exhausted at the moment but I am sure it is coming...that is good because I am still working on sleeping on my own.
I miss Dane and I think Marley is bored without her brother. I know he is having fun. I think they just keep missing the storms, thank goodness. He is already on night 3, time flies when you're having fun....I guess that is why chemo is going so slow....
Had coffee with Marley and Theresa this morning, I really do enjoy my coffee dates! I have one tomorrow too. Yeah! Then we came home and I got productive. While I feel good and strong, I am going to do as much as I can to make up for the lazy days. I taped and primed Dane's room. I had to go to HDepot for more primer, and I wanted paint too. However, there was one poor sap working the paint counter and too many people for me to wait. I couldn't paint today anyway. I filled holes and prepped it for, hopefully, tomorrow. If I can pull that off, the rest is rearranging and some decorating...shelves, frames, etc... I might be able to get the majority of it done for him as a surprise. It will depend on how I feel, my ambition level and if the princess stays entertained with her pals. I am pretty sure she wants a swim afternoon at my brother's house, I promised her we would go....
This evening's game was cancelled, which left more time for Brad to work-he's been super busy. Marley and I enjoyed some time in the craft room. I made her a 12x12 mixed media picture of an owl and a fish with the colors of her room, including the sample paint chips. It is in a big, white frame. We both like it. Then I worked on a display box of some of my grandmother's fabulous rhinestone jewelry. I have one in my bedroom that I made and absolutely love, one of my favorite things. I thought I would make her one with some other beautiful pieces that I have from her. She appreciates it.
I felt normal and productive. I didn't sit around, I kept busy. I am not exhausted at the moment but I am sure it is coming...that is good because I am still working on sleeping on my own.
I miss Dane and I think Marley is bored without her brother. I know he is having fun. I think they just keep missing the storms, thank goodness. He is already on night 3, time flies when you're having fun....I guess that is why chemo is going so slow....
Monday, June 24, 2013
A Tad Improved...
I have to say that the last two nights only taking a regular Tylenol for pain, hasn't been as bad as I thought- sleep wise. I think I am doing okay. I am not ridiculously tired and feel that I got some sleep. Not sure how long, but it is on my own. Yeah me.
My issue isn't much better. I am doing everything in my power to help it of course. Please, send me some karma juice to rid me of this torture! Hopefully my wbc will work overtime this week and cut me some slack.
The hangover stomach ache is gone. I am hoping that it is gone forever! If I don't ever have to have that feeling again, unless of course I brought it on myself, I would be a happy camper. Let's will that Taxol easy on me.... Be gone all you side effects from Hell! Be gone! Curses! Curses I say!!!!
Overall, the day was fine. Brad was away from the computer for 2 hours today and I got down to some serious work.... I did all the printing and fixing, calling and transferring of photos, etc... done today. It felt good to get on top of things.
The princess wanted to go see Monsters University, so I said I would take her. I thought it wouldn't be crowded at 1:30. I told her if it was, we couldn't go. We got there and it was sold out. Thank goodness. I would have asked for a refund if I had to be jammed in a theater with a 100 germ infested children. Instead we saw Epic, which has been out for weeks. There were a total of 10 people in the theater. Just the way I like it.
I am posting a picture of Dane's room. You can see the wavy line from his surfer room, that is all going to be repainted. His bed reconfigured and all redecorated. I will not meet my goal I am sure, but will get something started. I miss the boy, but know he is having fun. He may be getting some of this weird weather, I just want him safe.
My ten minutes of fame...kind of...my friend Katie has a website called the Licorice Project. This site helps women connect with other women going through BC. She asked me if I would write a guest blog about me and my wigs. I sent her my submittal and she posted it today. There is also a nice compilation of the pictures I posted on my blog. You can check out my celebrity status on www.thelicoriceproject.com How fun is that....
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The before picture... Wish me luck!
My issue isn't much better. I am doing everything in my power to help it of course. Please, send me some karma juice to rid me of this torture! Hopefully my wbc will work overtime this week and cut me some slack.
The hangover stomach ache is gone. I am hoping that it is gone forever! If I don't ever have to have that feeling again, unless of course I brought it on myself, I would be a happy camper. Let's will that Taxol easy on me.... Be gone all you side effects from Hell! Be gone! Curses! Curses I say!!!!
Overall, the day was fine. Brad was away from the computer for 2 hours today and I got down to some serious work.... I did all the printing and fixing, calling and transferring of photos, etc... done today. It felt good to get on top of things.
The princess wanted to go see Monsters University, so I said I would take her. I thought it wouldn't be crowded at 1:30. I told her if it was, we couldn't go. We got there and it was sold out. Thank goodness. I would have asked for a refund if I had to be jammed in a theater with a 100 germ infested children. Instead we saw Epic, which has been out for weeks. There were a total of 10 people in the theater. Just the way I like it.
I am posting a picture of Dane's room. You can see the wavy line from his surfer room, that is all going to be repainted. His bed reconfigured and all redecorated. I will not meet my goal I am sure, but will get something started. I miss the boy, but know he is having fun. He may be getting some of this weird weather, I just want him safe.
My ten minutes of fame...kind of...my friend Katie has a website called the Licorice Project. This site helps women connect with other women going through BC. She asked me if I would write a guest blog about me and my wigs. I sent her my submittal and she posted it today. There is also a nice compilation of the pictures I posted on my blog. You can check out my celebrity status on www.thelicoriceproject.com How fun is that....
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The before picture... Wish me luck!
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