Happy Easter!

At 7:40 a.m. I was being patted on the head to wake up.  This was the negotiated time Marley and I made the night before.  She was punctual and jacked up on an Easter high. No matter how tired, sore or slow, I had no choice in getting up! Watching the kids go through the house finding eggs and their baskets brought me a lot of happiness.  It was a normal Easter morning in the Marvin house.  I actually felt pretty good. My arm hurt less than usual in the morning, maybe because there was so much happiness in the house-or maybe I am healing.  We poked around for while, played, and got ready to go to grandma's house for Easter.  I felt pretty good in some new clothes, even though they hung on my torso awkwardly.  I used to have the problem of not being able to wear button downs because I couldn't get them across the chest, now everything is droopy.  Oh well.  I had bright colors on and I was fairly clean.  It was nice taking a car ride, about an hour.  Just being out and about like normal.

We had a nice Easter and the kids were all happy and it was another safe place for me to be.  I like safe places.  Brad's family is very supportive and I was comfortable sharing all of my thoughts and feelings with them. I am finding that being open and honest is way more liberating than hiding, being ashamed or overly caring about the physical aspect of the new me. I am sure my boldness takes some people off guard, but then again, it is me. On the way home I saw a random quote on a sign and I threw it in my phone :  Inner beauty minus ego equals peace.   I like that.  I need to read that often. I like that I saw that. I was supposed to see that.

Overall a good day. I don't feel that well right now. I feel like I am having a hard time breathing in deep breaths.  I took one bandage off for some relief, but not sure it helped. I am also having random feelings in my chest. Of course I think I am having a heart attack or something, but all of my innards are in tip top shape.  Maybe I over did it?  Brad thinks I keep forgetting to breathe.  Maybe I am holding in some anxiety?  Maybe I am getting some feeling back in my chest nerves and it feels odd.... I am not sure.  Maybe I just need to go to bed.... Back to normal school hour routine, except for Brad. My night owl has to adjust to coming to bed earlier and getting up with the kids to see them off.  Usually that is my job and he sleeps in.  His time has come.... I am sure once I am healed more, he will go back to work (out of the house) and I will help the kiddos in the morning. I can't get to used to sleeping in, or going back to work next fall will be even harder!

I hope everyone had a great Easter or regular old Sunday!  Tomorrow is a non pokey day, thank goodness.  I have chemo class-that should be fun... I wonder if I can get some graduate credit for it. Tuesday is the two week surgery follow up, port procedure scheduling, and Mugga heart scan. We are thinking of sneaking a weekend up at the cabin before the chemo starts.  We will not be taking big trips for awhile, and I don't know if I can even do the cabin while on chemo, I will ask.  A few days of nature always makes us really happy.  I like happy.