Home

I am home.  What an amazing world we live in when you can have a surgical procedure like I had and stay in the hospital for only two nights.  Thank goodness for advancements in technology and medicine. Everyone at Rush-Copley was fantastic.  They had the nicest nurses there to help me through the physical and emotional pain.
As much as I wanted to stay in the hospital, it is good to be home.  I have to remember to do nothing.  My limited mobility and pain should keep me in check. Being home means happier kids too. Marley was having a hard time with me being gone.  Tonight she will be happy to lay with me. I bought three body pillows to make sleeping spaces in my bed. I can't get bumped or else I will scream.  I could barely move in my hospital bed, it hurt so bad to shift and I couldn't put any pressure on my arms or hands. The other area that hurts the most is my upper chest wall.  Breast tissue starts at the collarbone area, and she cleaned house there too.  She was very thorough.  I feel like I was beaten up.  Talk about a helpless feeling.

I was really quite bummed about the reconstruction delay and the staging possibilities.  I think I am on my road to acceptance now.  The new boobs will come, just have to wait a bit and the healing now is going to be quicker.  I met with a breast specialist today and she told me even if I was moved to a stage 3, it is curable and I could have a normal lifespan.  We talked through that a bit and she made me feel a lot better. She lifted some doom and gloom.

My nurse wanted Brad to see how my drains work so he could help.  I warned her that he is not a medical kinda guy.  We showed him and he was all like, "yuck, ew".This was not unexpected, but made me sad because I also think it is gross but is attached to my body and I have no choice to take care of them and me.  I don't know who will change my bandage on Monday.  I am not sure I can do it myself.  I don't think I can ask Brad, because I am afraid of how scary it is going to look.  Debby said she could do it, but do I want her too?   I just may go to the doc's office and have a nurse do it.  I am chicken and don't want to expose my freakdom to my friends or husband just yet.  This is the new emotional hole I will be digging out of.  The physical  pain is being masked by drugs, which I plan on taking until it stops feeling like someone is cutting my skin and pouring rubbing alcohol in an open wound.

I know a few friends were going to come by tonight to the hospital, but I beat you out of there.  I think I am going to lay low tonight, go to bed early and get adjusted to my new "normal'.

Deb and Kristin stayed with us until I was checked out. I could not have done this without them. YOU ROCK! I couldn't have done any of this without all of my girlfriends!

All of your positive thoughts, prayers and jokes, got me though the surgery!!! THANK YOU!  Next steps, heal physically and mentally, oncology and chemotherapy...phew...one day at a time....