Head On

Well, reality hit hard and strong. Getting up for work was tough the last few days because of the two hour time adjustment. Marley won't go to bed until 10, because her body says it's 8:00! Argh! Reality was also thrown in my face Monday afternoon because I had to go for herceptin. I was supposed to have it the Friday of vacation but we bumped it to Monday. Let see, last Friday I was in Bellingham, Wa.watching the kids play in the pool, the Friday before that we were at O'Hare...both more fun than an infusion.  Okay, I lie a little. I like the nurses there a ton. They're fun to talk to and they are treat me like a human. I enjoy the time I spend with them. However-I wish it was for something else...like they were my hairdressers or manicurists...not my vampires and drug pushers.

Reality hit me even harder today. I have been experiencing some pinching on my bad side the last few days, but around 2:00p.m. it amped up. The pinching became more frequent and intense. By the time I got in my car, my eyes were watering. I'm so done with having my breath taken away by pain... How about I trade it for a stunning vista, or glorious sunset?  Lucky for me I had an appointment for a fill this afternoon. Doc wasn't in, but his assistant was, who I see most of the time anyway. I told her about it and she thinks it's the edge of the expander poking around. She thought the fill would help. In some way she's right. Because now, I'm in so much flipping pain from the fill I don't even notice the pinching. I can barely move. It feel like a protruding rock is being pushed through my skin. It's very uncomfortable. I did very little tonight. My house is a wreck because we came home, went back to work and have been running with baseball, softball, piano, band concert, brownies and girls on the run...oh yeah and treatments.! And it's only Wednesday!

I managed to get myself up in bed. Mars is with me, she said she didn't feel well. We were both in tears and retired together. Next week we will talk about how much more my skin can handle. I think I'd like to stretch more, but I say that sans the pain. If this pain doesn't subside, we may be near the end. I'll never be the same or even close. I guess it is what it is. Right now it sucks and that's all I've got to say about that!