Tuesday's Gone

I am thinking of taking this blog private soon.  Once I do that means that only people I know will be able to view.  I think everyone's initial shock is over, however it has all just begun for me.  I won't do it yet, and I will need to know who wants to continue down this path with me.  I think it will get ugly and more intimate, and I am not sure public is the right way for me to continue.  I have some techie things I need to figure out first.  I plan to continue this because it helps me. I reflect on my day, what went well, what my pitfalls are and the good things each day brings.  I have kept journals before, but this time it seems to be really important.

Once again I woke thinking nothing was wrong. I moved and remembered. I wonder how long this will last, kind of annoying.  I wonder what it will feel like when this is all over, when I have my new boobs (someday) and at least a decent head of short, red hair. Hopefully this will be sooner than later. Daily routine by me and Brad, I  kind of enjoy the hair washing... glad I cut it short. :)

My cousin Carl is in town and came to spend the day with me.  I really enjoy his company and it was a nice distraction.  I tuned him and Brad out when they started arguing politics and started looking up bc resources.  I am not sure what I need. There are a lot of things out there, how do you know where to start?  There are some free resources for wigs, scarves, groups, etc... I feel like I should know what I need but don't.  Brad has to remind me that I am still in recovery from surgery, and I need to chill.  All I do is chill. I sit in a vegetative (Norco'd) state and do nothing.  It is pathetic for me and I am annoyed. The only thing I do, when I have any form of interest is the zentangle doodling.  Quite mind numbing and works well with the drugs. I need to watch The Wall or Clockwork Orange and enjoy this.
During Carl's visit, Jen came by with a homemade dinner (yummy!) and a visit, and Dana came in for a visit because the kids were playing.  I love my neighborhood. Carl even commented on what a great place to live and how lucky I am to have all these friends around.  He kept my mind pretty busy all day, then I drew, ate, and watched an episode of an ocean documentary with the kids. Overall an okay day.

Tomorrow Deb is going to take me to doc's office to have the drains removed. Thank goodness.  I am so sick of these. They make me hurt, they make me hunch, they pinch and they need to go. When I was there yesterday she said not to worry about them hurting when they came out...okay, sure...they are sewn into my skin....hmmm.  This will be worth the pain because I will be able to move freer. This means I can go for walks and start to sleep in other positions, which will be good for my back.  Fingers crossed it goes smoothly.

Marley asked if she could help me tonight. I asked if she was okay to see the drains and she said yes, I think she was curious.  I let her help me into the shirt I sleep in.  She looked at the drains and told me I could be clown and pretended to honk the drains like a horn and made a goofy little noise.  I thought I was going to blow the stitches laughing.   That's my mini-me!
p.s. anyone notice that the last three titles are songs?  Aren't I clever...