Weird Wednesday

Another incredibly busy and draining day.  So much to process I sometimes forget to breathe. Brad actually reminded me a few times today..Dude, I know how to breathe, been doing it on my own for 43 years.... I just couldn't!  It doesn't help when you wake at 4:30, remember what is reality and can't fall asleep. Anyone would be tired.

I took Mars to school and talked to the sw, principal and school nurse to inform them what is going on and to keep an eye on Marley.  I want to keep everything as normal as possible.  I thought we needed a few key people in place to look out for her. If she has tummy aches or is sad, I really need to know.  I think the school will do a good job at that.

Then a stop to tell a friend.  It is getting a little easier, but maybe I am a bit numb?
Then to lunch with Kristin and off to Mario's for a haircut... I think we overwhelmed the stylist. We were also quite obnoxious. No, we were not drinking.  We cut off my ponytail and I posed with as a goatee...we decided if I am mad and don't have eyebrows I can draw those angry stick people ones and freak people out.  We were crude.  But it is about me.  I have the right to be crude. It is how I am going to fight this.  I didn't watch the haircut I faced Kristin.  Then there it was. Short bob, I like it.  It is a lot shorter, but it's a nice cut.  Actually, the time at the salon was a total riot, I wish it was under better circumstances, but it is what it is, and I am glad to have done it.

Steve, my buddy and permanent sub told me that my class started a "walk" at lunch and chanted Marvin and got the whole recess to do it.  He said it was really cool.  He also sent me a couple pictures of the kids.  It made both Kristin and I cry.  I am sad I didn't get to say a proper farewell, that hurts me too. I am hoping after surgery before treatment I can pop in for a visit.

Then to the plastic surgeon.  Okay, I will admit it, I was sick to my stomach the whole way to the office. I am not sure why this was freaking me out so much.  We were waiting in the room for awhile and I was shaking and couldn't write.  I couldn't breathe.  I can't figure out why this one made me so nervous.  Then he came in and he explained the whole reconstruction to us, showed us pictures of before and after and game options. Made some great PR comments, like calling me 35 and petite..Brad called him out on it as being a good salesperson. (He did just explain how he used a really heavy woman's stomach fat to make a boob, maybe I am petite compared...) I was eating it up, but knew it was his schtick...what the heck Brad...let me have my moment... I opted for implant reconstruction rather than him taking tissue from my stomach or my back to make a boob. Each of those surgeries are 12 hours.   Can you say, NOT BLOODY LIKELY!!!

To make a complicated process shorter, it sounds like my reconstruction will take about 5 months for completion... Yeah, no kidding!  So here is how it goes:  He comes in during other surgery and lifts my pectoral muscle off my ribs...Totally gross...then creates this little area between ribs and skin for his expander device.  This is then filled up with as much saline as the thinks my muscles can handle.  Then they close me up.  I will be an A or B cup instantly....then each week I go see him and he injects x amounts of saline into me. He says I won't feel anything because area will be numb for awhile.  I see him and get more each week until I am good with the size. He says I look like a 600cc. Sounds like a bad ass motorcycle.  Holy cow.  They aren't very realistic at this time because they are just giant round hills. However, they will fill a bra and I will look fairly good.  Then after that I have to have another surgery, which I didn't know was a general anesthesia, which I don't like. This is quick and to remove the spacers and slip in the implants.  Although the general, it is outpatient. He did 3 switch outs this morning.  Two months later I go in and he creates a nip and I get tattooed to look real. I saw pictures, rather impressive for reconstruction.  So, that is it in a nutshell, or a boobshell.  This guy has done a zillion of these and I think it is the right decision.  They will need to be replaced in 15 years when about 58.  Okay, well figure it out then.  Grossed out?  Do your boobs hurt reading it... Yeah, mine too. Kind of gives me the heebie geebies.  I have to see him once more which has to be Monday or Tuesday and he will talk through consent and recovery.

So, all of you who suggested that I get giant hooters for porn, not gonna happen, but I always welcome suggestions.  Oh, and here is good news. I will be able to continue to shoot. The muscles used to pull my bow are not my pectorals, they are the pulling ones, I don't remember which.  Bad news is that I will not be able to do push ups for awhile....Oh darn.

Dinner at a the Files, awesome, thanks!  Kids in bed-Mars with me again until the night owl changes his pattern. He has one week to sleep in and come to bed late. Completely tired. Another day down and the clock is ticking to "lift off". This post took forever. I obviously can't spell or write today, sorry.  You would think being a teacher I could do better.  Just not gonna worry about it.

Things to look forward to tomorrow.  Some comments so I know you're there..You just have to register and you can say hi, I know you're there because 256 page views are not done by a few folks...
Bringing Marley lunch at school, and who knows...oncology appointment?  Waiting to hear from them.  Many loose ends to tie up before Wednesday. Preregistering for surgery, etc.

We are going to Wisconsin to the cabin for the weekend to have family time and tell the kids just enough to make them understand, but no details or medical terms.  We will all be cozy and together. It isn't Quebec City, but its being with my family that makes it fun. Thanks for listening. Good night, Hugs...