1/2 Way Done Mark for Taxol

Did number 6.  My counts were good, they went up. My hemoglobin is in the normal person range and the wbc went up a whole point. I was good to go. I was nervous about those numbers because last week they were low.  Whoo-hoo....half way done with this stuff.  Only 6 left to go...Kerrie was my chemo buddy today and when she whipped out her nurses had and posed on my IV pole, we almost lost it. Kerrie, the nurse and I were laughing LOUD!  Jane, the nurse, was like..."My boss is going to wonder what were doing, I hope I don't get in trouble."  I guess it usually is pretty quiet until I get there. I will post the pic at the end.  It was damn funny, because she put it on and in her very casual way says, "Okay, let's get this started."  Now I have 2 Hobby Nurse friends....I like weirdoes. :)

It went fast. It does with a buddy. We just goof around and act immature, plus I am a captive audience and can't run away from bad jokes.  Making it go fast is a bonus.  I came home right after because Brad was at work and I didn't want to leave the kids too long.  I did minimal straightening up. House is an explosion of vacation bags and stuff to be unpacked.  I am not doing it all, no way. I made all the breakfasts, coffee and packed each lunch every day on vacation, also did laundry... no way will I do all the unpacking-even though I unpacked the car...I will walk over it. I don't care. 

Around 2:30 I hit the wall as predicted.  I had to lay down for about 20 minutes. Had to. Couldn't sleep but couldn't think or do anything.  When Brad came home I snapped out of it and went to the store to get some staples.  I took Dane, not fun shopping with a kid who only wants junk food and I have to say no, no and no.  He is twelve. What an age! I wanted a nice picture with him, and you saw what I got. That was the best of the 6 Brad took, he is just a goof now.

I am still in annoying pain.  My chest is tight, under my arm is tight and now I have a pain in my neck. Now I think I have a lymph node problem or something has come back and I am freaking out a bit inside.  I know rationally the doctor just told me that I was healing and the neck thing is probably anxiety and stress.  There is nothing there and I don't have a sore throat.  I am just being mental.  I think I may be clenching my jaw and causing my own problems.  Damn this is hard stuff. I am trying. I want it over and done with and all finished with cute hair and nice boobs and done, done, DONE!

I have a lot of good things to be thankful for in the upcoming months, I just want to feel physically good and not this healing annoyance. I need to muster up some more positive energy, I have been drained of that lately and don't know what is up. I am very weepy.  I only have 6 chemos to go and my hair is growing back. Radiation should be easier on me and then Jan. 10 is a big day. I am through the hardest stuff!

I have to snap out of it.  I would say that once the physical irritation is done, I will have a much better attitude. It is a constant reminder of what is going on. I want to move on but I can't because I can feel the aches.  I give it another week and if I am this achy I will call the surgeon again. Plus next Friday I see the oncologist and she can tell me I look good and maybe after 2 doctors tell me the same thing my evil brain will stop playing tricks on me....let's hope....I need positive attitude energy and quick healing energy sent my way....I seem weak in disposition lately and need to get it jump started!!! I have to work with a class of kids in a week and a half. Going back to my woke isn't sitting at a desk and talking on phone, it is 100 % physical all day. Send me some Good Luck with that energy also.... I need it all right now.

Oh, final thought. I just made two pies. One cherry of course, and the other mixed fruit (with cherries).