A Little Bit of Everyting

Countdown 3 days....  I am starting to get a little apprehensive. Not like the week I really didn't want to go and then had the bad stuff happen.  Just the fact that I will lose another weekend and feel cruddy.  Not something to look forward to, who would.  Except I have to remember it is the LAST one.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, she would have been 68 years old.  The kids and I took Kernal Fabyans caramel corn to her grave, sprinkled it around for the birds and critters and each had some and sat silently and talked to her. This is a yearly tradition. Dane was 4 and remembers the good times with Grandma, and Marley was only 6 months so doesn't remember anything. She asks about her and we tell her stories and show her pictures. It saddens me that they both missed each other.  I miss my mom. A lot.  While we were there Dane asked, "How did she die again?"  I almost choked on my caramel corn.  I replied that we didn't need to talk about it now. I had no idea that he didn't know or had forgotten.  I wasn't about to tell them, I now know that I have to keep that a secret. There is no need to panic my kids. It also isn't something that is brought up often so I should be okay  Oh boy.

Today I saw a lady at a store with really short hair. She was probably late 50's,  and looked like she had some battle wounds that tipped me off that she may have been a chemo patient recently.  I was jealous of her really short hair and pointed it out to Debby and said, "that's all I need.... and soon!"  She looked good otherwise, but I don't know her, but I think we can spy out people in our top secret club...I have become a jealous person of short hair, more than even boobs. Boobs are easier to fake.

Trying to see a few people this week, visit with friends before Friday and get my house in order... the later is not the priority.

I think when I start the Taxol, I will be asking friends to take me to chemo.  Brad will have done the AC and those were every three weeks, in a few weeks I will be on a weekly round.  So if you want to sit with me for chemo, let me know.  Once I get the official start date and after the first one, Brad will do that...they check for allergies and all that. I will post them on the Lotsa Helping Hands site if interested.  We could be loud and obnoxious and have fun, regardless of the reality of the situation.