I still don't have the physical or mental strength to blog properly. Yesterday I was so wiped out I could barely open my eyes. Today is a little better in that department but fighting the nausea now. If I think of chemo, as in getting it on Friday, and getting the rash, I start to gag...even writing that made me ill. I really hate all of this and I especially hate these days where I feel like it will never get better.
I feel like the last week and this last round has really taken a toll on me as a whole human being. I am being pushed to my edge. I am trying very hard to stay strong, but I feel a chink in my armor. I will need to do what I can not to get depressed and hang on and fight on. I am only human though, and cannot always control my emotions.
On July 5, I start my next 12 weeks of chemo. How do you feel optimistic for that? I was informed that most likely my hair will not grow during this time and I will most likely lose my eyelashes and eyebrows. Yeah, depressing. Since it is weekly, I sure hope it doesn't have the exhaustion and nausea side effects or I am done for the next three months? How do I do that? I am jumping the gun, but I am kinda miserable today.
I know it is Father's Day, but hey, I have a deadbeat dad, and my mom died on Father's Day-and I feel like crap...not my favorite day of the year.
All I can do for today.
Thank you for everything Karen, and being a great listener to my blogging rants... All I know is that when I am done with this I shall be one strong MF!!! But still can't do roller derby or fight club now... maybe a kick ass knitting circle?? Or we can start a naughty book club.... or we can tp peoples houses and never get caught cuz were old.......
ReplyDeleteYeah...I have plans......
Holy crap - you were one strong MF BEFORE this all - we're going to have an ironmom on our hands after...
ReplyDeleteWe need nintendo/ Wii roller derby. do they make that?