Today was a beautiful weathered day! I wish I could say the same for my disposition. I can't seem to shake the queasiness, or hang over I seem to have. Yeah, sure I had a cocktail on Friday....of poison.... but let's be done with it already.
Another putz around the house day. Like every other day. Picked kids up from camp and took Dane to Target for some things for his overnight camp that starts this weekend. Otherwise, pretty useless. I have a lot of my ambition back...in my head. As soon as I go to do something, I am beat. I do not like being out of shape (ha, I am in a shape alright!) and not doing the things I put on my list. Maybe my list should be modified: Get up. Get dressed. Feed Bosco. Feed kids. Stare at wall for 20 min., repeat.... Then my expectations will be lower and I won't feel like a loser....
I was sorting some papers today and found the original paper the oncologist laid out all my treatment on, guess I should have let it be. Total of 24 week of chemo...that is 6 long ass months. I probably wasn't really listening to her totally when she was writing all of it down, but it was as clear as day when I read it today. 24 weeks. Half a year. Wow. Truly a long haul, plus 7 weeks of radiation, 5 years of tamoxifin, 2 surgeries, 1 year of Herceptin and a partridge in a pear tree!!!
Go big or go home... I guess...does that apply here?
I took a photo of me today with just my bandanna for everyone to see what I look like on a daily basis. They didn't turn out so good, I will try again tomorrow. I just realized I have been spelling bandanna wrong all this time, who knew there were two n's together at the end... not me.
I will try everything tomorrow.... adding to my to do list...shower, load dishes, etc...
Take a decent pirate/gang banger photo for blog, stay positive in spite of the never ending treatment schedule.....and who knows....
I couldn't believe 'bandanna' - have never seen it that way! looked it up on websters dictionary. Says either spelling is ok. weird!! Funny, I was going to comment yesterday that the bandana/hat look was cute (you apparently can pull off hats well, m'dear). Sounds like entering into an oncology treatment plan is a little like marriage or having kids - can't think ahead/ dwell on the next umpteen years of hard work, sleeplessness, etc. - take it one day at a time & try to enjoy the bright spots when they come right? Looking forward to celebrating with you when the last chemo round is done. And any time before or after that... :)
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