I am not sure what is going, on but I can't shake the exhaustion. Since chemo on Friday I have been wiped out. I am resting and much as possible. I hit the couch both yesterday and today as soon as I got home. Yesterday was horrible. I could barely function. The boys were gone and I had to get up twice to get/take Marley places. I laid on the couch and cried. I crawled into bed at 8, laid there, wrote one sentence as a post from my phone and was just miserable. It's like the Ativan has just stopped working altogether. I am desperate for sleep. I considered taking another at 3 a.m., but was afraid it may actually work and oversleep for work. I am a tired mess.
Today I went straight to the couch on the porch. It was very comforting for me when I was doing the hard chemo. I had Dane read and talk about his Magic card game, which I find confusing and boring, it actually relaxed me. I laid there for about an hour or so before Marley came looking for me. That rest was important. I am awake enough to help with dinner, but am already in pajamas at 6:30 p.m. I am really frustrated because I want to be happy and celebrating that I am done with chemo, not fighting this fatigue. I am also getting a cold. I don't know how I couldn't, I have a class full of sneezing students, so much for trying to stay healthy at work. I am also done with baseball. They lost last night and Brad came home a crab ass and didn't even ask a word about me, but responded all crabby when I asked one question to him. Dane shook it off, because guess what folks, it's Little League....
Enjoying everything right now....not. The runny nose, the zombie like feeling, the ignoring of the cranky husband, the foggy eyes, the lack of having any energy to do or enjoy anything right now. Poor me, waaaaaaa! Shut it you big baby! I was under some false illusion that Friday was the start of all things better or good, the next chapter I thought all positively. Well, this chapter kind of sucks. I am ready to turn the page....
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