Information Overload

Information overload...repeat...information overload....shut down....

Had Doctor appointment and Herceptin today.  Met with doc for quite a while, glad she doesn't rush me, I would be really upset if I felt like I was being pushed through.  She doesn't do that, she is very nice. She also admits that she has no idea what it feels like to be in my shoes, which is humbling I think.  She also used the term, you HAD cancer, like in the past tense. That is hopeful.  She explained all that I am to do in the future now, radiation, Herceptin and Tamoxofin are all preventive drugs.  That's all good, but then you need to listen to new side effects and possible things that these drugs can cause.  My newest concerns with the Tamoxofin will be hot flashes, clots and possible uterine cancer.  So I told her my concern of by the time I come out of this will I have a heart condition and a new cancer to deal with. She told me I can't worry about that.  Seems pretty scary.  I also asked if I could just have a hysterectomy now and prevent any form of uterine cancer in the future. Why not, I am done with it, I am not having any more kids.  She thought it was a bit extreme. I don't. Seriously, I don't.  This is the drug that I take for a minimum of 5 years, that uterus will be removed sooner than later, guaranteed. All useless parts that could be potentially hazardous to me can be and should be removed.  New philosophy. 

Brad was with me at the doctor and I was a bit overwhelmed at all the new information.  I have to see her again in 6 weeks, and that is when I will start the T. Six weeks to get me ready for the drug I take for the next...forever.  Brad had to go back to work and I got the H, and sat and talked to the nurses, whom I would call friends just about now.  It is only a 30 min. infusion once started so it was just chatting time, it was super fast.  During that time I also found out I need another Mugga scan, which Doc, forgot to tell me....  I have that on October 7th, the same day I meet with the radiologist. I will have to take a half day off of work for that, the scan is at 1:15.  That is the icky one where they take my blood, mix it with goo, and give it back to me then scan my heart.  Thought is nasty, doing it is even worse.

The evening was much nicer than the information overload this afternoon. Brad and I went to hang with Heidi and David. I had a lovely Weiss beer and pizza.  It was a normal night, beautiful weather too.  Dane stayed home and Marley went to movie night at her school.  I came home with Mars, she has a game and I didn't' want to leave Dane too long. Brad is still socializing.  Ready to crash, hopefully.  I don't want to think of all that I heard, read and learned today.  I have to focus on the good things that all is well, my blood counts are great and I am really on the up and up with everything. Doc said nobody knows what can happen, I can't plan for what may happen in 5 years. Heck, I understood what she meant, but I DO want to plan for five years in advance, assuming all is well.  I think it just came out weird.   I get it though.  Calling it a day, long and tiring.