So I had my Herceptin today, and it burned! I think because my port isn't being used weekly, it hurt more. It was a quiet day at the center, I was the only one there, and all of my favorite nurses were working. It was nice seeing them. I had emailed that I was on a schedule and also informed them that I have a lot of aches and pains. They thought they would try giving me the Herceptin without the preservative that they use for partial bottles. They didn't really know if that would do anything, but it wouldn't hurt in any way. I know it won't make a difference, my pain isn't from that. I chatted a bit with them as I got my infusion, and then booked out of there to go meet the next doctor.
Psych-what an awkward place to go. At least it was for me. I was in the waiting room with what I saw, a few very depressed looking older women. I felt like I was in the wrong place. I stayed. I met my doctor, young looking for sure. He looks about 16, but is not of course. We went through a battery of questions and the whole time there was an awkward vibe. We were both very snarky about the question answer bit. We got caught up on semantics a few times and compromised. It was a weird appointment. Interesting, none to say the least. Not therapeutic at all, in fact when it was time for him to get down to business, he was excited to recommend his favorite drugs. Bottom line is that we need to fix my sleep, however, drugs isn't the long term answer. He prescribed two drugs, both sedatives. One is supposed to knock me on my ass and put me out for 8 hours. Let's see about that. The other is supposed to be good also, but Osco didn't have it and it was 80 bucks if I didn't wait until Monday to see if insurance will cover it. Had no choice to wait. I am not sure of these medications, especially because he said I could take them all. Hello, can you say coma? I don't want to be on something to sleep for the long term. I need to get rest to then think clear headed to fall asleep on my own again. I guess I suffer from all three levels of insomnia. The can't fall asleep, the middle of the night waker, and the early waker. He said this is effecting the quality of my life. Okay, yeah I am more tired, but I think the freakin' bc has caused more ill effects than the sleep. Oh yeah, they don't do therapy, only dispense narcotics. I am supposed to see him in 4 weeks and let him know how I am doing. I can go see a different person for therapy if I want. Geez, just like a man...here is a problem, now I am going to fix it and see ya... argh!!
Went out to dinner and took kids to American Science and Surplus, which we have coined ASS for short. He he. They were having an science night and we always like going there to look at all the crazy stuff. We watched them electrify a pickle, microwave a cd, use microscopes and other fun stuff.
Here is where I am still concerned. The nurses didn't seem concerned about my pains. I think because I suck it up so much, and tolerate a lot of pain, that it takes a long time for me to crack or be understood. Anyway the pain is getting worse. It is from my hips down. Still feels like I have blown an ovary, burns. My hips hurt, my legs hurt and I feel like I just over did it on some fantastical exercise regime. I haven't done jack shit to feel this way. I took one nice long walk on Saturday, and today is Friday, no way is it from that. Yes, I probably worry too much about everything, but when your biggest worries come true, it is hard to ignore them. I see the next doctor on Monday, she will check me out for blown innards. She has to monitor me for future uterine cancer from the Tamoxofin that I start in three weeks. Yes I am afraid she is going to say, "Let's to an ultrasound" or something and now I have to do more crap. Just make it go away. Blah.
I am going to go to bed, dedicate a lovely 8 hours to this new miracle drug and try to feel refreshed and new in the morning. Hoping that my lower body will stop rebelling and get back to normal. I was supposed to start feeling great, not be in stupid pain. I want to try to push through it and maybe it is just my lazy body from the last 7 months telling me that I need to get going, that if I sit around much longer I will get all stiff and old. That or something else is wrong. Fingers crossed again. Can't take anymore stuff, I am only one person. I am ready to get back to normal....
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