Looks like I forgot to blog yesterday, oh well. I can't place any additional stress on myself. If I forget, I forget. Sunday was a low key day, more stuff around the house, good brunch with the kids (we are a breakfast loving family instead of dinner really) and errands. Still running around, but less fun and more productivity.
Last night I thought I would try the diphenhydramine for sleep. That is the active ingredient in Benadryl that makes you tired. I was told before that works and tried it again. Not so much. Little sleeps, one bad dream but that was more stress induced than anything. In the dream I was at work and my principal, who happened to be Lenny Kravitz, with a full afro, asked me if I saw my files. I said no. Then a parent (who happened to be a guy I saw at Bat Fest, but don't know) asked for a conference and I said "no, I have to go see my file." He was mad of course and we exchanged words. Then I went to find Lenny and he was in this big glass and mirrored room with thermal images of my head projected everywhere. He had to tell me that I now had brain cancer. Lovely dream. What is wrong with me? Sleep deprivation is now messing with the little sleep I get. The dream was bad, but Lenny was still hot....
Today was work. drive. radiate...home...normal busy Monday stuff after. I am super duper exhausted. I am struggling with what to do tonight. I want to just go to sleep on my own and see what happens. It could work out great (optimism) or suck so bad I am a total zombie tomorrow (good thing were near Halloween). I may down some cherry juice and melatonin-not sure.
This evening a friend stopped by to chat. She is a friend through a neighbor, but have always enjoyed her company at parties and get togethers. We talked a bit at a party Saturday night and she followed through tonight with a great offer. She is working on her yoga certification and is going to come to my house to work on restorative yoga, breathing and meditation with me. She can use me to help her learn and I can use her to help me heal. She also gave me her acupuncturist's number and I am going to give that a whirl too. I am hoping for some stress and pain relief. I did schedule a massage for tomorrow night-my neck is beyond tight and a lot is built up in there. I have to start somewhere.
Hopefully I can get into a routine of relieving stress for my mind and body. Get this, I tried calling to get an appointment with a therapist through my carrier and they have several, however you cannot get in to see anyone until late December or January. I think I have found the glitch in my insurance-limited doctors. I have dealt with this stress for the past 7 months, I guess I have to continue on my own. I don't want to pay out of pocket therapy prices. Yikes. Maybe the yoga and other stuff will help me too. I hope. I find myself getting down and sad when I am so tired-so the sleep is the number one thing I need to work on. Everything else I am doing is out of my hands.
Going to take a hot shower before bed to loosen up my muscles to relax and promote sleep. Hoping for the best.
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