Z is for Zapped

The book Marley chose to read to me tonight was just that, Z is for Zapped...more like, D was Zapped...quite appropriate for today.  This afternoon was my first official radiation treatment.  It was another rather long appointment.  They do all these technical adjustments to get everything just perfect. I am glad for that, don't get me wrong.  I am not glad for the way my neck feels while I lay there so long.  It starts to hurt so bad, that when I can move it, it is all stiff and hurts even more.  Nobody can lay that long on a table without getting uncomfortable.  The actual zapping itself, I swear, is seconds to a few minutes.  The majority of time is adjusting and shifting me or the laser sights.  I just zone out.  I am so good at being still. I have had some practice and now I will be an expert. I am going to use this time to meditate and try to get the junk out of my head so sleeping can improve.

The nurses are great, and one ran over the skin care and the side effects, which are somewhat minimal compared to all the other treatments and sleep aids I have tried.  I need to get myself some pure Aloe Vera gel tomorrow and start applying that on my skin now. She said I won't get burns for a couple of weeks. She said the fatigue isn't like chemo fatigue, I may get more tired (is that possible) after a treatment.  Other side effects may be from exposure to my lungs, hopefully I won't have to deal with that, very small chance.  It is more of an inconvenient routine than anything else, except it is for my own good. I asked the doctor, who will be seeing me while mine is on maternity leave, if she will just be my doctor for the duration.  She said of course.  I don't want to have this doctor for 4 weeks and then the other comes back and tries to act like she cares. This one is nicer anyway.  They have me slated for 3:45 radiation everyday.  That should work.

 We are going to work on our bedroom this weekend and try to make it a better sleep environment for me.  The laundry baskets and stuff are not conducive to my sleep.  We are even thinking of painting the red wall a more soothing color.  I am reading some sleep books and it looks like I am a chronic insomniac. No duh. We can start with sleep environment, that is something we can control.

I will be on a continued quest for rest and my weaning of Ativan...If I can do all this other crazy stuff, I should be able to get control over my sleep. This brain and body needs to be refreshed and ready to conquer each new day, because they aren't easy!