October 30-really?

October 30th...I cannot believe how fast this month has flown by.... What have I done? Where does the time go? Well, I started radiation and I do what I do everyday, work, mom, etc.  Normal stuff.  Today was treatment 6 I think, is that bad that I have already lost count?  Pretty sure I started last Wednesday...that would make this 6.  Only a mere 27 to go!  Damn that is a huge number.   It is going faster, they seem to be lining me up quicker and getting down to the zapping.  Today I met with the doctor, she came to check out my skin and see how I am doing.  Skin is fine. I talked to her and the nurse about my sleep issue and she suggested yoga.  She also said that the other things I am trying are all worth a shot. I like her, she is very kind-she has a warm demeanor.  The nurse who helped me get all situated with radiation is also a really kind person.  She talked to me for awhile and let me just, well...talk.  She is very understanding and I didn't feel rushed or that I was bothering her.  I can be an open book, a sappy novel, and I want to stop that...but I need to get some of the crud out.  I feel sorry for those who get stuck listening to me...but they are so good at it.  We talked about the positives and how I am trying to take back some control of my mind and body...and that I am allowed to lose it and grieve for what I have lost...body, mind, dignity...

After last night's massage, I am really focused on cleaning my mind and taking back my body.  I am visualizing the me on the other side, and I look happy, healthy and like the old me (but with wavy hair).  I have to keep my eye on the prize.

I am sad that it is raining and that Halloween may be a bust this year. It looks like we will be cancelling our deck party.  I am not up for hosting it indoors, so we will plan something else. I hope it just sprinkles and the kids can at least go trick or treating for a bit.  Marley woke up all mad because of tomorrow's forecast. 

Tonight both kids carved pumpkins...alone.  Dane did his alone, but he is 12 so that is expected.  Marley did hers alone which was a bit of a risk.  She made a "pumkin plan" and stuck to it. She wouldn't let us in the kitchen where she was working.  When she was done she disassembled some headband that lit up, and wired up her pumpkin up to have a strobe light. Then she invited us to the kitchen, in the dark, to see her work. It was pretty cute, although we all almost had seizures with the strobe!

Dane is at play practice, and we are chilling.  I want to go to bed, but it is a bit early for that. I am not doing well with it getting dark so darn early.  Brad is bad with the seasonal changes and I can see that I am getting that way also. If it is going to be dark we need snow, the reflection makes it lighter and therefore better.  

Enough for one day.  Have a fun Halloween!

 Dane

 Marley