I've been called a worrier before, so that's not new. If someone has any suggestions on how not to be a worrier, please advise. My husband thinks I have to have something to worry about. I totally disagree. I would prefer not to worry, and I don't always. Right now I worry about every ache and pain I have. Why wouldn't I? Seems natural to think, Oh crap, what's going on? I don't enjoy it, it just is. I've had a lower abdomen cramp like thing for about a week. Of course I'm concerned it's something bad. Most likely it isn't. I have a sore neck, still. Muscle problem still? Or is it something worse? See? I'm in a constant state of fear. I will live in fear forever. That sucks. I will try not to-but it's hard. If I think the worse, then I'm half way prepared. If I think the best, bad news is harder to take. Lame philosophy, but I don't like getting my hopes up too high to be crushed. Like last night, I was blindsided when the doctor said he couldn't do the procedure as I had thought. Never had that occurred to me.
I know I will eventually learn to cope with the fear, or push it away. I think it takes time. Brad thinks I should be "over" treatment becuse it's done. It's been done for 4 days, and I'm in constant irritation from burns-kind of hard to look past so soon.
I'm so behind in the realm of Christmas. I have very few things done, have no time to do any shopping and don't even know what to get. My decorations are half up, which means if they are not up by tomorrow-they won't be. I will just have to deal with that. Although I feel like a lot of it is my fault. I can't do all that I used to, so it hasn't happened. I'm a ruiner this year.
Man I sound pathetic. Maybe it's because it's Friday the 13th. Maybe.
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