I don't know what happened to me today, but I was wiped out. I am not sure if I overdid it yesterday or if it was another night of poor sleep. Either way, today was a bust. I struggled first with some weird blurry vision. It was like having floaters, I tried my reading glasses, but that only magnified the blurry spots... go figure. I was worried about having a migraine. I have only had one ocular migraine, and that was at school in October, when everyone was concerned I was having a stroke. Never happened again. The blurs didn't last long but I did get a headache and got very tired. Wait. Did I have a migraine then? Don't those have to be super painful and debilitating? Mine was just an annoying headache and I did lay down. Hmm.. I just put all those together now...kinda slow tonight. duh. Maybe it was.... I took some Tylenol, didn't help much and mustered through. I was very unproductive and angry about that. I have my two days and one of them I have to have a headache? C'mon, that's totally uncool!
I did drag my butt up and do the wig thing, but look at my eyes in that pic. I look half in the bag, but no...that is from being so damn tired today.
Marley's game was cancelled so we went to Dane's game. It got chilly, but I am a fan of cloudy, cool days...being a vampirate and all. I was so glad I went to his game, the last inning was so exciting! They were down by 6 and the other team was cheating by not pitching a younger kid and got caught. So instead of us winning by default, Brad said they would play the extra inning for us to bat. We scored 7 runs on them and the kids were cracking the ball and on fire. It was the most fun at a game in a long time. That was the highlight of my day.
I have to tell you, I am really not looking forward to Friday. Every time I think of having to go get chemo, I get really sad and almost cry. I have felt good for two weeks and just knowing that I am going to feel like shit soon really makes me unhappy. We have decided not to go to Wisconsin, even though many of you have reached out to me and said GO! I have a gut feeling that we shouldn't go. I told Brad to take the kids and I will be fine, he still won't do it. I have to trust my instincts, I am usually pretty good at listening to myself. I don't want to be really sick and far away from home and the doctor, with no cell service or internet to contact anyone. The cabin will be there on a good weekend and I will be able to enjoy it if I wait. Tomorrow is my last day of feeling good. I am hoping to try the yoga at Living Well, it will be the first time I could go since I signed up. I was either on a bad week or low wbc. I will get one session in. Better than nothing. Even though chemo isn't really painful or anything, I have this premonition that I will be sad and it will be hard for me to joke around like my usual self. I know this is all for my benefit, and it WILL work, but it is hard to set yourself up when you know the next several days following will be tough. I will do what I need to of course, maybe it is just because I am having a droopy day and will feel better about going on Friday tomorrow. Yeah, let's go with that....
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